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Author Topic: Treedine's Haunted Farm- Piedmont, SC  (Read 457 times)
Completely Haunted
Posts: 707

« on: October 25, 2015, 05:35:29 PM »

Treedine's Haunted Farm
Date visited: 10/24/15

Scare Factor: 1/5
Disclaimer- we only did the Forest trail so maybe Midnight Hill is spectacular.  I doubt it. All scares are at the front of the group.  Every single one of them.  We were able to walk completely untargeted at the back of the group and after awhile just had a casual conversation since it became obvious nothing was coming our way.  It wasn't even amusing.....just boring.  Every time we took a turn I was hoping it was over.  Nope....another empty set or a single actor who shot his load at the first sight of a customer.  It was scarier going up wobbly steps than wondering what was around the next corner. 

Actors: 1/5
If you are in the front of the group you may feel differently about these guys.  Basically if they see a body they pop.  The back of the group is literally ignored.  There was one actor who kept yelling "It's Fred!"  That was it....."It's Fred!"  While I appreciate the enthusiasm and multiple locations he showed up it's just not scary.  The trail could have used an extra ten plus actors and at least one who knows that the middle or the back of the group is generally where the scares are. 

Sets/Props/Fx: 2/5
Standard black plastic/felt and ramshackle buildings.  They really seem to like bridges here.  A few cool laser effects.  There were at least two completely empty buildings.  The coolest part was Jason Voorhees in water....that was cool. The rest was standard fare but with several areas that felt sketchy going up/down steps.  The slide was just painful.  Masks and costumes were standard drug store fare. 

Length: 1/5
The forest trail is not scary. The length was decent (20 minutes?) but when it's not scary it's too long.  The midnight hill area I don't know.

Value: 1/5
Combo tickets for the two "attractions" are $20.  What do you get for that price?  You get physical exercise wandering around in circles trying to find the ticket booth.  You get neck cramps from a queue line built for 5 foot tall people.  You get to play bumper cars as you try and guess where the parking exit is and one substandard trail and a mystery trail. 

NOT free parking (?).  The website claims parking is $1 per car.  There were no parking attendants.  There are zero signs indicating where to buy tickets, where the attraction queue lines are, or even where the freaking exit to the parking lot is.  This place lacks any sense of organization.  As I wandered around I approached a building with a few lights on it and asked if this is where we purchased tickets.  Hearing an affirmative I mentioned the lack of signage and was told "that's part of the fun."  Okay lady.....  The queue line for the forest trail is ridiculous if you are 5'10 or taller.  I couldn't stand upright without hitting a sagging wire "roof" that also was full of vines.  Discussing things with the group in front of us they also mentioned the parking CF to the ticket lady.  She misheard them and asked if they said the parking attendant was dead.  Funny thing is that she didn't seem concerned that she might have a parking corpse out there or do anything to remedy the situation.  Leaving the attraction was a Chinese fire drill as cars were completely unsure where to go.  The exit is a completely unmarked alley at the far end of the lot.  I have no idea if concessions were offered or if merchandise was available.  My guess is that if so there was no signage nor did anyone care if you found it. 

Overall:  1/5
I've done thirty plus trails each of the past three years and plenty each year the decade before that.  I have never quit a trail until I got to Treedine's Haunted Farm. Congratulations!  After it being a hassle simply to park and purchase a ticket we went through a trail that not once targeted the back of the group.  We trudged along while the four people in front of us were targeted while we were ignored.  We wandered up and down steps and ramps that seemed less safe than a middle schooler's shop project.  We basically carried on a conversation while actors focused on the rest of the group.  After finally finishing the first attraction we headed to the second queue line (unmarked of course).  After thirty minutes in line and two groups going through we bailed.  We asked the people in front and behind us in line and they assured us that the Forest Trail we had completed was by far the superior attraction.  If that was better.....why the hell was I standing in a non-moving line?  First time ever I've left before finishing a trail.  So congrats guys- you scored a first on my many adventures.  It was back to the car and driving in circles to attempt to flee the parking lot with no signage and possibly a dead attendant. 

"You can't piss on hospitality.  I won't allow it!"
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